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It just never stops!

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by Kass "Flames" Johns (more true stories from my life!)

Ok, you have already read the Fire Story... Well it doesn't end there. Events related to fire and lightning continue to happen to me...

March 1998
I am in Denver with a friend, we are driving to a microbrewery for a St Patrick's Day drink. Sitting on the corner at the street light is a car on fire. My friend says, "I don't believe it!" I reply, "Been there, done that." We get to the brewery and the place is decorated with fire truck toys and fire helmets and such—they are introducing their new brew: Firehouse Ale.

That night, around 2 am, the fire alarm in the hotel goes off. It was a short in the wiring, but it was enough to jolt everyone into confusion. The next day, we are standing outside on the sidewalk, visiting, while my friend enjoys a cigarette. I glance over and realize that the trash bin is smoking. One of the cigarette butts from a previous smoker has ignited something in the bin. My friend runs off to get a cup of water and douse the fire. I barely noticed. I take the whole event in stride. Fire doesn't bother me anymore.

June 1998
My swamp cooler overflows upon an overfilling and the carpet becomes soaked. I leave it running. I attempt to soak up some of the water with beach towels. I lean over the metal housing of the cooler just as my bare foot emerges into the pool of water. A jolt later... I decide that I need to lie down for awhile and think about how stupid I am.

July 3, 1998
Oh, you are gonna love this one...

I had to go get my BBQ propane tank filled last Friday (July 3). I took it to the Safeway, but their prefilled tanks were all gone. So I drove over to the big propane company. The guy there was giving me a bad time. I was teasing him back. Then I asked, "So ya s'pose it'd be ok if I left the filled tank in my car and went shopping—leaving the tank in my hot car all day?" He replied that he wouldn't recommend it. I told him that he had no idea about my history of how fires happen to happen to me. We laughed. He asked how I came to them for the filling. I said, "Well, I remember the big fire from several years ago! Explosions, tanks going off like bombs, it was kool!" He said, "Oh, we made an impression on you then?"

I replied, "I think you made one on everybody that day!"

July 8, 1998: So, here I sit watching the local evening news...

Guess who had a fire today? Yep, the propane company. While not as damaging and explosive as the last one, it was plenty dangerous. (Nobody was hurt.)

I have a talent that can easily be turned to evil...


After telling my friends of this latest event via email, I recieved several witty replies:

From Pete:
Dear flame-girl,
I have a short list of people I'd like you to visit on my behalf. Could you please send your rate sheet?

From Noreen:

As more events happen, I'll report them here...

© Copyright 1996-2001 by Kass Johns, all rights reserved world wide.
The opinions and recommendations stated here are solely those of the author and are not the responsibility of anyone else. This is an independent publication not affiliated or otherwise associated with, sponsored by, or sanctioned by any vendor. We state here that we have used trademark names in this publication for editorial purposes only, with no intent to infringe on those trademarks. Permission is granted to copy this document for personal use only for *non-commercial* purposes, in electronic or printed form, provided that this copyright notice is not removed. This work may not be used on another Web site or online service, sold for profit, included within commercial works, or altered or changed in any way without the express written permission of the author.



© Copyright 1996-2001 v.7.5.00
Kass Johns
Technical Writer & Consultant to the Publishing & Telecommunications Industries
Colorado Springs, CO • www.kassj.com • 719/635-1306 (vc)
kass at kassj dot com

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