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by Kass "Flames" Johns (more true stories from my life!)
Ok, you have already read the Fire Story... Well it doesn't end there. Events related to fire and lightning continue to happen to me...
I am in Denver with a friend, we are driving to a microbrewery for a St Patrick's Day drink. Sitting on the corner at the street light is a car on fire. My friend says, "I don't believe it!" I reply, "Been there, done that." We get to the brewery and the place is decorated with fire truck toys and fire helmets and suchthey are introducing their new brew: Firehouse Ale.
That night, around 2 am, the fire alarm in the hotel goes off. It was a short in the wiring, but it was enough to jolt everyone into confusion. The next day, we are standing outside on the sidewalk, visiting, while my friend enjoys a cigarette. I glance over and realize that the trash bin is smoking. One of the cigarette butts from a previous smoker has ignited something in the bin. My friend runs off to get a cup of water and douse the fire. I barely noticed. I take the whole event in stride. Fire doesn't bother me anymore.
My swamp cooler overflows upon an overfilling and the carpet becomes soaked. I leave it running. I attempt to soak up some of the water with beach towels. I lean over the metal housing of the cooler just as my bare foot emerges into the pool of water. A jolt later... I decide that I need to lie down for awhile and think about how stupid I am.
July 3, 1998
Oh, you are gonna love this one...
I had to go get my BBQ propane tank filled last Friday (July 3). I took it to the Safeway, but their prefilled tanks were all gone. So I drove over to the big propane company. The guy there was giving me a bad time. I was teasing him back. Then I asked, "So ya s'pose it'd be ok if I left the filled tank in my car and went shoppingleaving the tank in my hot car all day?" He replied that he wouldn't recommend it. I told him that he had no idea about my history of how fires happen to happen to me. We laughed. He asked how I came to them for the filling. I said, "Well, I remember the big fire from several years ago! Explosions, tanks going off like bombs, it was kool!" He said, "Oh, we made an impression on you then?"
I replied, "I think you made one on everybody that day!"
July 8, 1998: So, here I sit watching the local evening news...
Guess who had a fire today? Yep, the propane company. While not as damaging and explosive as the last one, it was plenty dangerous. (Nobody was hurt.)
I have a talent that can easily be turned to evil...
After telling my friends of this latest event via email, I recieved several witty replies:
I have a short list of people I'd like you to visit on my behalf. Could you please send your rate sheet?
DON'T EVER COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AGAIN!!!!!!!!! Noreen
As more events happen, I'll report them here...
© Copyright 1996-2001 by Kass Johns, all rights reserved world wide.
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